Friday, July 29, 2011

There and Back Again: Lessons from Vacation

Unlike Frodo, we were not required to walk into Mordor, merely drive to Wisconsin. Some would akin that to walking into Mordor, but I am going to give it the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, I'd consider the trucks on 94 something akin to the black riders. Seriously.

So Lessons learned:

1. Trucks on 94 have the great desire to fuck with you. They have a hideous sense of timing and the slowest love trying to pass the slower. So that means you spend a good portion of time behind Idiot A truck or Idiot B truck while one attempts to pass the other. I hate that. Mostly because I happen to like using my cruise control and going one speed at all times. And of course, that speed is usually more than the speed limit, but that's my issue and not yours. Your job is just to get out of my way.

2. Jellystone is a great place - though something of a place for hicks. It is NOT the land of beautiful people. Though I suppose that might depend on your age level. There were some beautiful teenagers (or at least skinny ones who had clearly been tanning), but lots of middle age people wandering around following small children with beers disguised in those cooler things. Very priceless.

3. There are a lot of fun things to do at Jellystone - my favorite was definitely the wave pool. Monkey enjoyed himself and impressed me by learning to jump into the pool and swim to the side. When I feel less like I'm on vacation I will go and get the pictures and post them. Even managed a movie.

4. Always reapply sunscreen. Always.

5. Lumpy mattresses are no fun to sleep on with sunburn.

6. Every movement on a plastic mattress echoes through the room and keeps you more awake than it should.

7. Toilets should not rock. Ever.

8. Small children are so sweet when they fall asleep next to you after a long day of sun and fun and swimming.

9. Game of Thrones is a brilliant book. Now I only need to find the episodes somewhere. This is why illegal downloading happens. I've watched all the recaps and summaries and now I want the whole thing. And I'm madly in love with Tyrion Lannister - the Imp. If you are going to be a bastard, you might as well as do it in a big way. And when in doubt, piss off your siblings.

10. The best thing about coming home is my own washer. My purring kitties. My sweet soft quiet bed. My fan. My shower with lots and lots of pounding hot water.

Until the next vacation.....

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